True story about me: I flunked scissors in kindergarten. Yep, that is me. “Jean Anne needs more work with scissors and fine motor skills to pass this year.”
I did pass but I never forgot – I couldn’t cut. Fine motor talent wasn’t in my DNA. Not ability in finger agility.
This is the narrative, the story, I heard as a child, and those words carved deeply into my heart as a true identity of who I was.
Adult experiences confirmed this supposed truth. I was never good at painting or drawing. I tried cutting material for quilt classes and my accuracy messed up the patterns. I did learn as an adult my best artistic medium was words – I love playing, painting, proclaiming, and penning with words. Music also provided a creative outlet.
But here I was a few weeks ago – like a fish out of water, attending a 5-day Icon Painting workshop at a retreat center. Eight of the other attendees were not just repeat students at this art but had been painting this technique for multiple years. Only one other lady was a newbie like me. Gulp, what was I doing there??? Why did I say yes?
Both the other attendees and the teacher, Father Peter Pearson, were very supportive, encouraging, and so willing to share ideas and tips. I was grateful for their reassurance.
No matter what – I was definitely out of my comfort zone.
What did this experience teach me?
Periodically stepping out into the unknown builds courage and self-awareness. I faced my fears with God’s help and that showed me I could do this again when needed. Faith more than fear. Discovery is more powerful and transformational than dread and discomfort.
Research shows that trying somethings new (even using your nondominated hand for something) forces the brain to adapt, increasing productivity and enhancing problem-solving skills through new neural pathways.
I felt vulnerable at first but taking it slowly, listening deeply to the wonderful instructions, and with the help of supportive new friends helped the process.
Icon painting is slow. Start with a simple pattern and lines. Then listen, don’t rush. Brush lightly. Look closely. Layer upon layer. Breath in the presence of God and goodness around you. Such a peaceful, prayer-filled practice full of life lessons.
When in doubt, look closely until you see. This was the instructor’s comment once – certainly not just about icon painting!
And most importantly I recognized the false voice within me saying you can’t do this because of something engraved inside of me as a child. Listening to a deceptive or outdated internal story limits growth and opportunities. The instructor asked me what other types of painting I did. I replied, “None.” “Why not?” he asked. “You show talent in this work. Keep it up.” Wow, his words of encouragement were soothing ointment on the dried scab of a deep wound.
What we see at the beginning and even in the middle may look messy but this isn’t the final art. We are all masterpieces in the hand of God and God is still painting and adding depth to our lives.
I wonder what other stories I still tell myself that are no longer true. What about you?
Excellent reminder that words from childhood are not the final words for who we are. I was told as a child that I was shy. Nope. I do tend toward introversion in that I enjoy people one on one, but that isn’t shyness at all. I’m glad I learned better as an adult.
Who says you can't draw, Jean? Your icon is absolutely marvelous! We do need to do things that are outside our comfort zones in order to continue to learn and grow into the person God created us to be. Blessings!